Shielding Kids From Divorce Conflict

Most divorcing couples want to shield their kids from divorce repercussions, but they don't know how to do it. Well, here are a few practical measures to ensure your divorce doesn't hurt your kids' wellbeing too much:

Don't Use Them as Leverage

A common mistake parents make is to use children as pawns or leverage to get what they want. For example, you may be tempted to withhold the other parent's access to the kids until they agree to leave you the marital home. However, keeping the kids away from their parent hurts the kids as much as their parent. Therefore, keep the kids out of your fights.

Don't Fight In Front of the Kids

You may be fighting with each other on a daily basis, but your kids don't have to know about it. Keep your emotions in check, and shield your kids from your fights. In some cases, the kids may even blame themselves as the cause of your fights. Ideally, you should schedule your talks or negotiations away from the kids, which may mean not using the family home for this purpose. Even if you are convinced your partner did something to end the marriage or is not being fair with the divorce demands, you shouldn't let your kids know about it.

Keep Lines of Communication Open

Even if you are having an acrimonious divorce and you are not talking to each other, you still need to talk to your kids. The kids need to know that your relationship with them isn't ending and that you still love and care for them. This means you should still see them, let them call you, call them, and generally be reachable to the kids.

Aim for Consistency and Predictability

The best thing you can do for your kids during this trying time is to make their lives as predictable and as consistent as is humanly possible. This means that, if possible, they should continue living in the same house, going to the same school, and seeing the same friends, among other things.

Aim for Cooperative Parenting

Lastly, you would do your kids a great deal of service to opt for cooperative parenting. Cooperative parenting is where you have the same goals and use the same means to achieve them. It's dangerous for one parent to pull in one direction and the other one to pull in the opposite direction. For example, it's not good for one parent to let the kids stay up as late as they want while the other one insists on a specific bedtime.

For more information, talk to companies like Bray & Johnson Law Firm.